


Chalk

by ObscureSubmarine



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man - Fandom, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Civil War Team Iron Man, Gen, Post Captain America Civil War, Tony Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-16
Updated: 2017-05-16
Packaged: 2018-11-01 11:25:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10920840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ObscureSubmarine/pseuds/ObscureSubmarine
Summary: Chalk is fragile. Chalk breaks. Tony thinks he is just like chalk. Broken.





	Chalk

**Author's Note:**

> Hello once again! I must say thank you for the kudos on my other story, it really makes me feel good as a brand new author! Now I know this will be my second angst post but I promise you I will write fluff sooner or later. Also, be prepared for some ship fics later on. But in the meantime, I hop you enjoy this fic and thanks for reading!

What do you think of when you think of something fragile? Glass? An egg? What I think of when I think of fragile is chalk. It breaks, it wears away, it is abused. So, it is fragile. Just like me.  
I know that Stark men are supposed to be made of iron, but that's not always the case. I used to like thinking that I was made of iron, just like all the other Stark men before me, but I'm really not. I think THEY just made it well known.  
I hid my chalk-like body behind a curtain of arrogance. I hid myself behind a shield of eccentricity. I used money to build a wall around my fragile bones and from behind that wall I shouted to the masses that I was made of iron. Sure, I might have been made of iron as Iron Man (it's actually not made of iron), but that was a suit. A suit that became part of me. I was so enveloped in the superhero lifestyle and the lifestyle of Iron Man that I forgot that on the inside I was made of chalk.  
I forgot that I was easily broken. I forgot that I was abused. With Iron Man I forged a new life for myself, one where I was made of iron just like the Stark men before me. But I was still made of chalk. I have all the inconsistencies of chalk. I break. I wear away. I am abused. THEY made me realize that I am made of chalk.

Throughout my entire life I have been used and abused. I can remember all the snotty kids at my school who only wanted to be friends with me so they could get the best presents on their birthdays. They all just wanted my money. They didn't want Tony Stark. Who needs friendship when you have money? At first I was blind to their schemes, but over time I noticed that they only seemed to want the most expensive presents. They also made me feel awful by pretending that I did something wrong so I would give them a make-up gift, and then we'd go right back to being friends. I was played like a deck of cards. As I grew up I thought I could spot the people who were only using me for my money, and I really could, but I guess when it came to the Avengers, I turned a blind eye. They were like my family, and so I thought that I should give them a home and nice things. I thought they really appreciated what I was doing for them, but I guess not. They, like everyone else, only wanted me for my money. They all used me. Like chalk is used to write out a lesson on a school chalkboard. Not everyone abused me, but some certainly did. It wasn't all physical either. A hefty amount of it was mental, and those are the kinds of scars that you can never erase. Obie, who I thought I could trust with my life, went behind my back and pulled my heart out. Literally. My father, who was ashamed to have me as his son, since I could never be like the great Captain America. Who would have thought that the man they all idolized was the one to finally break me? When he ran after his best buddy, he broke my heart in two. Sure, we hadn't been the best of friends at moments, but in the others we were unstoppable. But I guess our unstoppable machine would have to break since a better one was somewhere else. He broke me two ways. Mentally and physically. He left scars on my heart when he slammed his shield into the ARC reactor, and he left scars on my mind when he did that too. So, just like chalk, I am used and abused.

Before, I was confident in myself and my abilities. Now, I'm not quite sure. I believed I was made of iron, when I was made of chalk. And I, like chalk, break. I wasn't broken before, but cracks had appeared in my foundation long ago, from all the times that people hurt me with their words. Physical wounds, though they hurt, could not stop my mind from figuring out how to get around it. But when my mind was hurt, it took me a while to get back to who I was. Ultron was one of those times that it took me a while to recover. He hurt my mind by showing me that my work wouldn't always do good in the world. I know what my weapons did, but after Afghanistan I made a vow to myself that my work would only be used for good. Ultron proved me wrong.  
He was my machine, and he was a killer. It hurt my heart and my mind seeing him, thinking of all the people he killed and could have killed. It only got worse when the rest of my so-called "family" started ripping into me for creating Ultron. Their words were worse than his. Seeing my friends so angry and disappointed, all because of me, made my head spin in a way it had never done before. I couldn't recover from that. I tried to be good again, but it didn't work. They didn't trust me anymore even though I gave them their gear and their home. They trusted the witch more than me. They'd trust anyone who's name wasn't Tony Stark. I thought things couldn't get any worse. Oh, how fate proved me wrong.  
Civil War. That's all I can say. It was the straw that broke the camel's back. When Rogers betrayed me, my world collapsed. It was already teetering on the edge, but when he revealed that he knew all along, my world broke. So, just like chalk, I break.

I had been tired for a very long time. I am getting older, I can't handle all the pressure. All the pressures of helping to run a company and trying to keep an entire team of people alive really weighs down on you. It was like I was carrying the weight of the world, and my shoulders broke. I am no Atlas. I'm not strong, at least not physically. Though I'm smart, today's world doesn't seem to value that, even though all their new technology comes from smart people. They only care about who is strong, and who is not. Fitting. They all flocked to Rogers like lost sheep, forgetting the guy who gives them everything. Then they all yell at me for messing up when Rogers has his own faults. But only mine get pointed out. My name gets dragged through the mud every time I try to do something good. They say I'm just doing it as a publicity stunt. I'm not. This world has turned its back on me, bared its fangs. It's worn away at me, breaking down my walls of stone and iron, leaving the fragile chalk exposed to the world. They lashed out, wearing it away. But it was my family who truly broke me. Just like chalk, I wear away and break.


End file.
